Baby #2

What could it be????  When I found out that we were having another baby, my first thought was, well actually it was “ah crap this is bad timing”…. BUUUUT, in my defense I was ready to go back to work full-time ANNNND I knew the baby would be born right before Tim deploys which is sad and scary for all of us…. but after those quick worry thoughts chased away I immediately thought… ”ohhhhhhhh I wonder what it will be!?!”

Tim is absolutely SMITTEN with Scar, he is so in love I swear that man doesn’t stand a chance with discipline because he is just wrapped around her little finger… but, I always thought to myself, I’m sure he’d really love a boy, 1- because obviously he would want to carry on the family name, and 2- because who doesn’t want a little mini-me out there!?

With Scarlett I had no worries if it was a boy or girl, I was just so excited to be having a baby, and all I hoped was that it was a healthy beautiful little one, well…. there seems to be a certain pressure on the second one, and I definitely felt it…. I was super nervous leading up to my 20 week appointment the other day…. all because I would wonder every night… is it a boy? … or a girl???

Here’s the gender reveal pics I did for our friends and fam on facebook and instagram…..

I can’t take how cute she is here…. The face says it all!

GET IT????  IT’S A BOY!!!!  We are so wonderfully excited.  I am not sure Scarlett is as excited as we are, but she sure did enjoy the cake smash photo sesh we had.  I could totally photo bomb you with 10 different pics of all the fun we had… but I think this sums it up

{Scarlett’s Dress ~ Vintage from SOTV}

Happy Mother’s Day

To all the beautiful mother’s out there and to my mama in particular <3

Scarlett and I have been through a little rough patch lately, it’s been a bit of a power struggle in the house as she becomes so independent.  She is so determined to try everything herself, and is starting to pick out her own clothes, and play independently, and wants to be a big girl… It makes me so happy and breaks my heart at the same time… my little girl is growing up… I’m sure that phrase will be repeated many times over the years, but I just can’t believe she’s not this little baby any more.

Every single day I look at Scarlett and wonder how I got so darn lucky that I was chosen to be her mother.She has me completely and utterly awestruck.  I have never in my life loved something so much that I literally thought my heart could burst.  Every time I see her smile at me, it can make the worst worry melt away.

Mother’s day is so special to me now, and not only because I am a mother (obviously), but because I have truly never completely understood why my mom was so crazy (lol).  I know now how your heart can literally hurt with every decision made, every moment with your child, it is so wonderfully explicit LOVE that is between you and your child.  I know that I am so lucky to have been able to experience motherhood.

Our journey is far from over, but I look forward to every single moment that comes next.  I cannot wait to experience this all over again with another little one, and I am so happy to give Scarlett the greatest gift of all, a brother or sister.  I hope that every single mother out there has a beautiful day filled with hugs and kisses from your babies.  And to my mama, I wish more than anything to spend the day with you.  I love you so much and miss you every single day.

Sometimes a girl just can’t wait for summer…..

Scarlett on the go… the usual!

{ Vintage Dress from SOTV }

Yes we had the fire going!  Colorado went from a weekend of 78 temps down to 45 the next week, which felt freezing after the warmth!!

S.A.D

Seasonal Affective Disorder. I think I have it…  Or C.A.C.P … which is Continuous and Compulsive Procrastination… (I just made that up)… I have that too… . L&L…  Lazy and Lonely?… (yep also just made up)… Maybe that’s it, or Hypochondria…. that I DEFINITELY have (and didn’t make up)! Use all of them or just some of them as an excuse to why I haven’t blogged since January…. sheesh, Jannnnuary… but regardless, here I am! I have one other tiny excuse, that shouldn’t really be an excuse, but hey I’ll use anything…

Get it???  Need a minute?………………………..  Yep that’s Scarlett telling the whole world she’s gonna be a big sister!  That’s right there’s another baby on the way!  So needless to say the first three months were a bit tiring with a crazy toddler running after and being sick for a whole month of it!  Things are looking up as I am officially at the half-way mark, 5 months!  woooo hoooo!!!  Half way?  whoa whoa you say…. 5 months is… well, lets see, 40 weeks is full term, 4 weeks in a month (kinda) well folks that works out to 10 months!  LIES LIES!!  Yeeeeah I didn’t realize that either until someone pointed it out to me with Scarlett… all the kind things they will tell you to get you to take the plunge….

We are super excited about the new baby, and trying to get Scarlett potty trained and sleeping in her own bed by the summer… goals!  It’s also been crazy trying to think of all the things we have to take care of before the baby comes, because…. here comes the twist in the plot!…. Hubby is deploying later this year…. yep.  Just in time to leave me with a newborn and a toddler… cue the woe is me music please…. as I said…. all reasons for me to make excuses on ways to avoid life/blogging/preparing/etc…. don’t worry, I finally strapped my big girl undies on and am ready to freak out deal with it all

So now you have the news, and I really am looking forward to sharing the deployment experience with you… as well as the new baby!  And everything that comes with both… well maybe not everything

Military Mondays… on a Tuesday

So, I had every intention of writing this yesterday, but I was so exhausted that I completely wimped out.  So a little something has been bothering me, and I definitely just need to get it out there.  I will admit, I had a teeny bit of that stereotype of military wives never working, and just getting to hang out with the kids all day eating bon bons or whatever (i’m totally kidding fellow wives, i definitely didn’t think you ate bon bons all day long, wink)…. so let me backtrack a little….

I actually became a SAHM (stay at home mom) for a bit back when i was first in Missouri, i was pregnant, lonely, eating, couldn’t find a job, and had no friends…. wow, pretty picture right there… so when Scarlett was born I still hadn’t found any work and was scared about daycare, so i was officially a SAHM.  It lasted about a year, and I was officially going crazy and needed to get out of the house.  I found some part time work at a retail store, not bad, daycare wasn’t costing too much and I finally felt okay for her to go, being a year old and all. 

Fast forward to us moving to Colorado, I was looking for work for about 4 months and finally found some retail work.  I was super excited because I had gotten a position with PacSun, loved the team, was super excited about the future opportunities, etc.  Well…. Tim then talks to me about him deploying sometime this year, and all of the field exercises they will be doing this year…. for those of you who don’t know, when they go into the field they are usually gone for about a week, and have limited access to a phone… so now I’m thinking…. whoa whoa whoa…. you’re going to be gone a week?  about once a month???  It gets better… there will be two separate months that he is gone for more than 30 days…… i’m sorry what?  Guess who’s missing Missouri right about now?  THIS girl.  Now let me ask you…. retail… crazy hours… schedule changing all the time… how is this going to work for me???  So after long discussions with my team at PacSun I decide it probably wont work with me taking the promotion… its just not fair to everyone that I get an opening shift M-F all these times… (because remember, i have to abide by daycare hours)…. so I ask you this…. that military wife that you think just sits around at home not wanting a career…. why doesn’t she just work??  chances are her life is run by her husband’s schedule. 

There are certain posts/assignments that are a bit more the norm, have normal hours, are more flexible with letting our guys go if they need to pick up the kids etc… but not here… and NOT when you are deploying within the year.  I have never been to this kind of post, all I know is how it was at Fort Leonard Wood…. grass is always greener aye?  Not so much over here

I at this point am thinking of other options, should I go back to teaching, should I look for another job, a 9-5er?  start my own business?  That would be the best option, i wouldn’t have to pay for daycare!!  Do you know that is running us about 600-800 a month!?!?!  (depending on my schedule)…. lemme tell you something…. my paycheck is barely paying that!

So all I am saying is do NOT judge…. foot in mouth, insert now.

It is very hard to begin to realize that you chose a life where your husband’s job is more important than yours, you make sacrifices by leaving your family and friends, but it is also a sacrifice in a bit about who or what you can become, your career is essentially on hold, and for the first time I am realizing just what being a military wife entails.